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Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Workshops, Events and More Fire!

Table of Contents:

I. Thank You!
II. Fire Class + Workshop Series
III. Events
IV. From ME to YOU

I. Thank You!

We, the leadership for Fetish Men San Diego, wanted to start by thanking each and every one of you for your involvement in mapping a course for FMSD. Over the last few weeks, we've seen attendance and community participation grow through events, emails, and social media presence. We are excited to keep growing and hosting events for You, our Brothers, and welcome your participation!

We also wanted to thank everyone who attended Ritual Fire this past weekend; your energies were a wonderful contribution to the feeling and fun of the evening. With the feedback we've received so far, we are looking forward to hosting more Tribal events so that we may share space, stories, and grow together.

If you have any feedback, we are happy to hear it! We are looking to know more about what YOU'RE interested in for future events - whether those be workshops, socials, potlucks, parties, or otherwise. We would like to know what interests you, and how we can help make your dreams a reality.

If you'd like to let your voice be heard, please email:
Doriam -
Scott -

II. Fire Class + Workshop Series

Saturday, September 30th 
3PM to 6PM
FMSD Workshop Space
$5 Requested Donation to FMSD

Join us at our NEW workshop venue in Hillcrest this month for our NEW 201+ Workshop Series. This series of workshops will go over forms of play of a higher level than most courses offered in San Diego, and will be taught by local community members. Like our Parties, tickets will be handled primarily online through PayPal or by emailing You must be 18+ Years of Age to attend these workshops, and must provide your Legal First & Last Name, and an Email Address for the will-call email.

Justin blowing fire at Ritual Fire! 09/10/2017
This month Justin will be leading a 201 class on Fire Play. His workshop will go over basic safety and good-practices for diving in and introducing you to the joys of lighting each other on fire! Justin has been active in the kink community since 2014 and began toying around with fire shortly after his initial involvement in the community. He most recently assisted in presenting Fire Photography at Ritual Fire!

This workshop will go over the use of fire wands and how to safely light your hands on fire and spank your bottoms. Men interested in playing with fire will be asked to be nude or mostly nude, and apply a water layer to their skin; an outdoor shower is available. We will have experienced Fire-Players available for demo, and spotters for your safety.

If you are interested, you may submit your $5 donations by going to - Will Call emails with the location are sent starting 2 days prior to the event. Include your First Name, Last Name, and Email Address in the notes section or email

What to Bring:

  • Towels
  • Bathing Suit (Nudity is OK) 

What to Know:

  • This event is MALE-ONLY
  • Arrive ON-TIME for the Safety Portion
  • Will-Call emails sent starting 48hrs prior to the event

III. Events

XMen Academy - Stonewall Citizens Patrol
Thursday, September 14, 2017
7:00pm to 9:00pm
Pleasures & Treasures
$5 Requested Donation of Non-Club X Members
Description: Join Club X's XMen in welcoming Stonewall Citizens Patrol at Pleasures and Treasures to learn about the measures that SCP is taking to keep our communities safe in North Park, Hillcrest, and University Heights.

Rope Bondage Demo w/ Sir Francis & Doriam
Friday, September 15, 2017
9:00pm to Midnight
San Diego Eagle
Support the venue, otherwise free to attend
Description: Have you ever fantasized about being bound? The scratch of rope against your skin, pressure building against you with each breath? Maybe you've been on the other side, and your interests are more inclined on tying your partner. Join us for a new Monthly Event at the San Diego Eagle.

Pre-Folsom Swap Meat 
Saturday, September 16, 2017
5:00pm to 7:00pm
Urban Mo's Bar & Grill
Free to Attend
Description: Fox & Fiends hosts their first Swap Meat! Bring your unwanted gear to Urban Mo's for their Swap Meat. Buy/sell/trade gear, or simply come out for an afternoon with our Brothers and Sisters in leather before Folsom Street Fair!

LUST - Leather Foundation Fund Raiser
Saturday, September 16, 2017
9:30pm - 2am
San Diego Eagle
Support the venue, otherwise free to attend
Description: After the Swap Meat, join us at the San Diego Eagle for LUST; a night of Sensual Touch and Uniforms as we raise funds for the Leather Foundation.

Fetish Men at Folsom Street Fair!
Sunday, September 24, 2017
Folsom Street Fair
Description: Are you attending Folsom Street Fair this year? We would like for our Brothers to come together sometime during or after for a Meet & Greet! If interested, please email for more information!

Nude Male Modeling
Monday, December 4, 2017
6pm - 9pm
Twiggs Bakery & Coffeehouse in University Heights
Cost is $10, cash only, for artists and photographers. Please support the venue, too.
Description: Have you thought about being a male model for gay male artists? Or wondered where you could go to practice your sketching, drawing, painting, or photography skills of male models? Check out the Gay Men's Art Group of San Diego.

GMAG logo drawing created by Tony A. Magpantay Jr.

GMAG has invited FMSD and Leather Men to be models at the December 4th GMAG session in University Heights. Wear whatever makes you feel hot, powerful, and strong. Nudity, with gear and props or not, is not required although it is very welcome. Street legal to the door.

Looking for new photos of you and your gear? Just like all levels of drawing, sketching, and painting are welcome so are all levels of photography although with some restrictions.

The models will strike seven poses in the first 20 minutes, then rotate to the next set of models. After, each model returns to hold one pose for 15 to 20 minutes. Solos, duos, or trios of models on stage works. One or two is great, three is the maximum due to space restrictions.

I and the co-leaders of GMAG think it would be GREAT to have leather and kink models as it would definitely be a change of pace for the artists.

Need more info or have questions about this? Please contact Scott at

IV. From ME to YOU

I'll keep this one short and sweet. I want to say thank you to each of you for your continued optimism and kind words. For my Brothers outside of San Diego, this includes you as well! Some of you have reached out, and I hope someday soon we can revisit the Fetish Men communities near you! Until then, please continue to reach out and we will build this together!

Have a great weekend, Gents!

In Service,
Doriam C

Friday, September 8, 2017

Ritual Fire & GMAG

Table of Contents:

I. Ritual Fire
II. Guidelines & Expectations
III. Nude Male Modeling
IV. From ME to YOU

I. Ritual Fire

Brothers, this weekend is our next BIG EVENT: Ritual Fire; A Tribal Bonfire Experience! You are invited to attend our Cross-Over Event with Club X this Sunday, September 10th from 6:30 to 9:30pm at Fiesta Island.

Ritual Fire is designed to be a unifier for our communities, in preparation for Ritual Steel. Ritual Fire is about transformation and growth, and draws inspiration from the life cycle of the Phoenix, a fire bird of Greek mythology - When tragedy draws near, the Phoenix ignites into a magnificent flame, and reemerges from its ashes, reborn.

We encourage you to look within yourselves to that which hinders your growth. By indulging in the majesty of the flames, and the energy shared beteeen our Brothers and Sisters, it is our hope that your troubles will burn to ash and, like the Phoenix, you will rise again with renewed vitality and a breath of new life.

If you've never been to Fiesta Island, it is located off of Highway 5. Keep an eye on our Like Page for an exact location on the day of the event; we will also be marking the space with an "X" in the form of a brightly lit St. Andrew's Cross! Volunteers are needed to reserve portions of the venue throughout the day, if you are able and willing to help please email

II. Guidelines & Expectation

The evening will be filled with Tribal Energy from beginning to end. Members of the Fetish Men San Diego leadership team, as well as representatives from Club X, have volunteered themselves to lead blessings, performances, and interactions designed to make the event memorable and ever-lasting for each of our Brothers and Sisters.

We recommend arriving between 6:30 and 7:00pm, as Sunset is scheduled to happen shortly after 7'o'clock. As the Sun begins to set, we will have one of Fetish Men's Elders, Papa Tony, lead us through the Opening Ceremony and Blessing for the evening to get everyone in the right frame of mind for the evening.

After this, we will have several members of our community contributing to the Tribal Energy with performances to light up the night. Attendees will be encouraged to observe these performances, and engage in Fire Photography* if they so choose!

Toward the end of the evening, we will re-congregate near the main fire. Our Leaders will welcome any of our willing Brothers and Sisters to identify their weights, and to leave the ashes of those weights behind.

* If you are interested in getting your photo taken at the Fire Photo set up, you MUST have a Bathing Suit and be ready to apply a water layer to your skin. Photos will be taken by Scott B. Smith (FMSD) and released to attendees within days of Ritual Fire.

III. Nude Male Modeling

Have you thought about being a male model for gay male artists? Or wondered where you could go to practice your sketching, drawing, painting, or photography skills of male models? Check out the Gay Men's Art Group of San Diego.

GMAG logo drawing created by Tony A. Magpantay Jr.

GMAG has invited FMSD and Leather Men to be models at the December 4th GMAG session in University Heights. Wear whatever makes you feel hot, powerful, and strong. Nudity, with gear and props or not, is not required although it is very welcome. Street legal to the door.

Looking for new photos of you and your gear? Just like all levels of drawing, sketching, and painting are welcome so are all levels of photography although with some restrictions.

The models will strike seven poses in the first 20 minutes, then rotate to the next set of models. After, each model returns to hold one pose for 15 to 20 minutes. Solos, duos, or trios of models on stage works. One or two is great, three is the maximum due to space restrictions.

I and the co-leaders of GMAG think it would be GREAT to have leather and kink models as it would definitely be a change of pace for the artists.

Need more info or have questions about this? Please contact Scott at

IV. From ME to YOU

I would like to thank you all for your continued support. Over the next several months, I will be trying a few new things and see how they go - I ask that you bare with me during this trial period, as it may take a few attempts before I finally have it down.

I would also like to thank Scott B. S. for his contribution to this blog post & FMSD as a whole! He has been actively working with GMAG to make this happen for roughly 2 months ago. Many of you may not know, but Scott is one of the greatest contributors to FMSD since I started back in December 2016, and a lot of what you see is thanks to his diligence and patience. So next time you see Scott, please thank him for his efforts in keeping this ship afloat! I certainly couldn't do any of this without him.

I look forward to seeing you all on Sunday. If you are able to volunteer and help reserve space on the beach, email me or Scott at

In Service,
Doriam C

Monday, September 4, 2017

A Breath of New Life

Table of Contents:

I. FMSD Party Recap
II. Ritual Fire - Volunteers Needed!
III. From ME to YOU

I. FMSD Party Recap

Howdy Gents, we first wanted to thank each and every one of you who showed interest in the Fetish Men San Diego party that took place this past weekend (September 2nd)! All-in-all, we are considering this event to have been a success, with a few hiccups along the way, but overall we are proud of what we accomplished!

But don't just take my word for it! If you haven't had the opportunity yet, read Papa Tony's review of the event here!  We would like to make this a regular event, but need your feedback to make it happen!  If you have any insight of your own that you'd like to contribute, please email

We also had a few players misplace their equipment. If you find any toys that don't belong to you, please notify me and I will do my best to find its home. Vice-versa, if you have lost any toys, let me know what it is that you lost and I will keep my eyes and ears peeled to get them back to you!

II. Ritual Fire - Volunteers Needed

This Sunday, in conjunction with Club X San Diego, we are hosting Ritual Fire: A Tribal Bonfire Social. Starting at 6:30, we will have kinksters from across San Diego arriving to share in the energy. At 7pm SHARP, Papa Tony will be leading the opening ceremony, inviting each of our Brothers and Sisters to open themselves up. Jason will be leading drumming throughout the night, and many of our local players have volunteered to demonstrate their skills with light- and fire-based play. Keep track of the Facebook Event and our Fetlife Account for details on the exact location.

Speaking of volunteers, we wanted to thank everyone who has reached out about potentially teaching a class, offering themselves for setup/tear-down, giving advice and words of wisdom, etc. In the coming weeks, we will be revealing the volunteer system we're working on to show YOU how much your efforts and support means to your Brothers. Some positions on this list will include:

  • Ambassadors - Duties include attending events and answering questions, welcoming the new folk, and generally being friendly.
  • Dungeon Monitors (DMs) - Oversee play, ensuring that guidelines are being followed, and that attendees are engaging in Safe, Sane, Consensual (SSC) & Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK).
  • Instructors - May be asked to lead a discussion or demonstration on a skill associated with BDSM/Fetish/Kink/Leather. If you have a skill or topic you are particularly passionate about, please contact us and let us know!
We will have more information available soon! But for now, we are in need of Ambassadors for Ritual Fire, as well as people to help reserve the location.

III. From ME to YOU.

It was my pleasure to organize the FMSD Party last weekend, and I was thrilled to see that so many of you enjoyed it! The stress involved with planning an event was not something I was thrilled to carry at first, but seeing it unfold and blossom, watching as my Brothers experienced the work we'd put in made everything entirely worth it. I won't go into excruciating details, but the results of the party have left me feeling as though I am floating in mid-air. I have been granted a new vitality, a breath of new life, and further excitement to continue planning events. Now, I need your help.

With all of the excitement, I need to make sure that I am listening to the most important part of Fetish Men San Diego; and that's you. Without my Brothers, we have no organization, no club, and no group to provide all of this work for. So, if there is something you'd like to see FMSD do more often, classes you'd be interested in attending, old events you'd like to see revisited, etc. Let me know by contacting

Additionally, we need a support team. Eventually, we hope that FMSD will begin building community leaders. In the same way I was inspired to step up, I hope some of YOU will consider stepping up, being available, and taking the opportunity to share these connections with your Brothers.

Have a wonderful week, Gentleman. I look forward to seeing you all at Ritual Fire - we may have one more post this week before then. Keep posted.

In Service,

Friday, August 25, 2017

Fetish Men is on FIRE!

Table of Contents

I. This Week in Kink
II. Ritual Fire & Fire Play Workshop
III. Upcoming Events
IV. From ME to YOU

I. This Week in Kink

Don't forget that Friday, September 1st from 9pm-Midnight, FMSD will be supporting California Drummerboy, Erik Thomas, in hosting Flogging Friday at the San Diego Eagle. We will have a few men present and available to flog, or demonstrate how to throw a flogger. If you've never experienced flogging and would like to get a small taste before Saturday's Party, this is a good place to do it!

Speaking of the Men's Only Party, we're excited to announce that we have upwards of 40 men registered to attend for our Party on Saturday, September 2nd. Ticket Sales will extend until Friday, September 1st for any last-minute attendees. If you're interested in attending and would like to get more information before the event itself, see this blog post or email DoriamFMSD@GMail.Com -- Ticket Sales can be handled through Venmo, Square Cash, or PayPal to secure your spot, if any are left, you can meet Doriam at Flogging Friday!

II. Ritual Fire & Fire Play Workshop (NEW VENUE!)

Sunday, September 10 - 6:30pm to 9:30pm
Fetish Men San Diego in conjunction with Club X San Diego will be hosting RITUAL FIRE; A TRIBAL BONFIRE SOCIAL. We are looking for volunteers to assist in reserving spots in Fiesta Island during the day on Sunday, September 10th. We suggest attendees arrive by 6:30, as sunset is predicted to hit peak-time at 7:00pm. Opening Ceremony will be held at 7'o'clock SHARP.

Ritual Fire will be a night of camaraderie and unity amongst our Brothers and Sisters. Live drumming will echo throughout the night, helping you open yourself to the tribal energy. Some of our local Brothers and Sisters will be engaging in Light- and Fire-Based Performances; we invite anyone interested to bring a swim suit and engage in Fire Photography. Join us as we come together in the ebb-and-flow of energy, connecting at our cores with those who share our most spiritual instincts.

Fetish Men 201 - Fire Play Workshop!
Saturday, September 30th - 3:00pm - 6:00pm
We have secured a new venue for 201+ Classes, which will take place on the Fourth or Fifth Saturday of each month. To commemorate Ritual Fire, we will be having one of our local players teaching a Fire Play Workshop on Saturday, September 25th from 3:00pm to 6:00pm. This workshop will go over how to safely play with various forms of fire, and will allow participants to experience Topping or Bottoming Fire Play in a safe, controlled environment.

Interested in attending? A requested $10 donation will reserve your spot to the event, payment can be made online, and space will be limited. The venue is located in the heart of Hillcrest; and the workshop will take place outdoors. Keep posted for more information!

III. Upcoming Events

FMSD Male-Only Party
Saturday, September 2nd
8:00pm - Midnight
FMSD's first Male-Only party will be held on September 2nd. If you haven't purchased your tickets, message Doriam by 11:59pm on Friday, September 1st to purchase your ticket and get your will-call information! Contact him via DoriamFMSD@GMail.Com

Flux_SD Switch Discussion
Sunday, September 3rd
5:00pm - 7:00pm
Join Flux SD the First Sunday of every month at Mimi's Cafe for a New Switch Discussion Group. Not sure what a "Switch" is? It's a Kinkster who can and does play on either side of the slash, depending on their current headspace. Let's support our Brothers and Sisters as they continue to explore themselves with this new group!

Ritual Fire; A Tribal Bonfire Social
Sunday, September 10th
6:30pm - 9:30pm
As listed above, Ritual Fire will be taking place on Sunday, September 10th. Please remember to arrive between 6:30pm and 7:00pm so as not to miss the opening ceremony, and bring a bathing soon as we will by the water, engaging in several forms of Fire-Play and Light-Performances.

XMen Academy - Men's Health/Stonewall Discussion
Thursday, September 14th:
7:00pm - 9:00pm
Join Club X's XMen! and our Local Titleholders as they lead discussion about Men's Health, and the involvement of the Stonewall Citizen's Patrol. This event is held from 7:00pm to 9:00pm, and a $5 donation is requested of non Club-X Members.

FMSD Demo Night @ The San Diego Eagle
Friday, September 15th:
9:00pm - Midnight
Each Month, we will be featuring a form of Kink/BDSM-style play at our local Leather Bar. Join us from 9pm to Midnight as we demonstrate Shibari/Rope Bondage this month, led by Doriam and Sir Francis!

Fetish Men @ Folsom Street Fair
Weekend of September 22-24th:
Time TBA
Going to Folsom? Celebrate Brotherhood, Camaraderie, and Connection of Man at Folsom Street Fair! This will be the first year for many of the men of FMSD, and we are looking forward to capturing the experience with a Group Photo or Brotherhood Dinner sometime during the weekend! More details to come.

Pet Play Lab with Doriam/Pup Bandit & Kit Karmelit
Saturday, September 30th
12:00pm - 2:00pm
Curious about the wonderful world of Pet/Pup Play? This class, taught at House of Black, is a 101-level introductory class to Pet Play amongst different dynamics of pets. If you are interested in what this kind of play looks like, this may be the class to attend! Doriam teaches the "Top-Side" of Pet Play, as it applies to Handling, Training, and being the Alpha of a Pet Play Dynamic, while his Partner/Co-Teacher Kit Karmelit teaches the "Bottom-Side" of pet play as it regards to engaging as a Pet, identifying your animal, and sculpting play.

Fetish Men Workshop - Fire Play with Justin
Saturday, September 30th
3:00pm - 6:00pm
We are happy to announce that a local member of Fetish Men San Diego has offered up his venue for us to teach 201-level classes. This month, to celebrate our first few big events, we will be hosting a Fire Play Workshop with Justin. His class will teach about the safe-practices to use with Fire, using Fire Wands and how to perform Fire Spankings! Attendees will be welcome to experience Fire from the Top and bottom sides if they so choose, but are welcome to simply attend and observe as well! Space is limited, email DoriamFMSD@GMail.Com to reserve your spot!

IV. From ME to YOU

As you can see, Gents, we are working hard to provide you with a great experience as Members of FMSD. I am still learning all of the ins-and-outs of running this group, and I am still actively looking for more help! If you have ANY insight about what you'd like to see done, events in the past that you'd like to see happen again, constructive criticism to make the group better - I AM HAPPY TO HEAR IT.

I look forward to seeing many of you on Saturday at the Party, the Bonfire on the 10th, and at the Fire Workshop on the 30th! Remember, Brothers -- I, WE, cannot do this without YOU!

In service,
Doriam C

Members/Male-Only Party

Table of Contents:

I. Member's/Male-Only Play Party
II. Guidelines & What to Expect
III. Clarification on Membership
IV: From ME to YOU

I. Member's/Male-Only Play Party

Brothers, join us as we host FMSD's first BIG EVENT of the year. You are invited to attend our Mens-Only Play Party on Saturday, September 2nd.

The inspiration for this party is BDSM, Kink, and Leather. If you've never been to a Play Party
The Main Dungeon is equipped with Two St. Andrew's
Crosses, a Sling, Cage and Massage Cage.
like this, there will be Men in attendance who are more than willing to play with the new folk, and answer questions when appropriate. You'll see: Bondage, Flogging, Rope, Puppy Play, Water Sports, Suspension and more. For first-timers, we will have members of our Leadership Team available to welcome you to the space, as well as Volunteers happy to lend a guiding hand.

The Party will be held on Saturday, September 2nd, 2017 from 8:00pm to Midnight. Doors will close at 10:00PM sharp! House of Black is located in Miramar, between the 805 and 15 freeways near Ballast Point Brewery. The Venue is a 3000 sq.ft. fully-equipped dungeon facility with 7 rooms for attendees to play in.

II. Guidelines & What To Expect

Never been to a party at House of Black or an FMSD Party? See the Play Party & Dungeon Rules below:

Play Party & Dungeon Rules

House of Black is a fully-equipped dungeon with toys available for attendees to use while in the space; however, we do recommend bringing your own toys, tools, and gear as we cannot promise that any specific items will be available throughout the night. If you are curious on whether the toy(s) you'd like to bring are allowed, please email, or ask a Dungeon Monitor.

We Recommend:

Please consider bringing the following.
  • Toys & Gear: Storage areas available.
  • Eating Prior: We will provide light snacks during the party. Please eat before.
  • Towels: There is a shower available for attendees, the shower may also be used for play involving Water Sports.
  • Condoms & Lube: We will provide some, but better safe than sorry.

High-Risk Play:

Please receive approval prior to engaging in the following types of play. You may receive approval by emailing

The Bondage Bedroom is fully equipped with Hard Points for
Rope or Leather Cuffs, Stocks and a Cage underneath.

  • Hoods/Masks (Pup Hoods are allowed)
  • Knives or Scalpels
  • Wax Play
  • Fire Play
  • Water Sports (outside of designated area)
  • Complex, Multi-Room or Disruptive Scenes

The following are PROHIBITED at this event:
Medical Room with CBT Chair and Inspection Table
  • Scat.
  • Breath Play
  • Whips longer than 6 feet
  • Guns, Firearms, or Explosives (real or simulated)
  • Cell Phones in the main play-space.
  • Photos or Recording without prior permission.
  • Intrusive odors: Sage, Incense, Cologne, etc.
  • Alcohol or Drugs of any kind. This includes Marijuana & Head Cleaner ("Poppers").

III. Clarification on Membership

Unlike many of the clubs in San Diego, FMSD does not have a formal membership, instead we welcome all Men who choose to affiliate with us as our Brothers, and Members of Fetish Men. The only 'formal' prerequisite, is that you be Male-Identifying.

For 201+ Classes, we ask that attendees have a basic understanding of BDSM/Kink/Leather because it is a faster paced class. If you are new to the community as a whole, you are welcome to email any person on the FMSD Leadership Team and ask for someone to join you at one of the intro classes hosted in San Diego. We will do our best to find someone to attend the event with you whenever possible.

Additionally, we have two forms of Contact on Facebook. @FetishMenSD is a Like Page which you can Like or Follow for regular updates about general events happening in the community, or events in which we welcome FMSD and other groups to attend. Fetish Men San Diego is a private group on Facebook where we post our FMSD Exclusive events, or events with a BDSM/Kink/Leather theme to abide by Facebook Terms of Service. If you are not a member of the group page, please submit a message to @FetishMenSD asking to be added and we will gladly do so!

IV. From ME to YOU

This is quickly becoming my favorite part of the Newsletters to write, as it requires much less formal-speech and allows me to speak with you both individually and as a whole. I am very excited to put on this event for the Membership, I look forward to seeing everyone together at the party, and hope that you all enjoy the event in-action as much as I have enjoyed putting it together.

I am looking for 2-4 Men to help before the party begins, and after the party ends, to assist in putting the space together. While the rooms are already set up, there are areas we'd like to rearrange. If you can make yourself available for either an hour before or an hour after, please email me at:

Additionally, if you have anyone who you'd like to bring to the party, please let me know! I will be at the Eagle this Sunday (08/27/2017) starting at 4PM for Ticket Sales, and will be available throughout the week leading up to Thursday, August 31. If you would like to reserve yourself a ticket and cannot pay the full price currently, we have volunteer spots available, or other arrangements can be made.

I wish you all a wonderful weekend, and I look forward to seeing you soon!

In Service,
Doriam C

Monday, August 14, 2017

A New Kind of Ritual

Table of Contents:

I. Member's Only Party
II. Ritual Fire & Ritual Steel
III. New & Rebuilt Bridges
IV. Events & Volunteers
V. From ME to YOU

 I. Member's Only Party

We're just two weeks away from our first Member's Only Party of the year! Ticket sales are being handled by Doriam. Space is limited. Please plan ahead by contacting Doriam at:

There will NOT be any Door Sales for this event. Ticket Sales end 08/31.

II. Ritual Fire & Ritual Steel

Together, we will build a stronger community.

Join us Sunday, September 10th, from 6:30pm to 9:30pm, at Fiesta Island Park, as Fetish Men San Diego in conjunction with Club X San Diego host Ritual Fire: A Tribal Bonfire Social.

Ritual Fire will be a night of camaraderie and unity among all members of our community. Live drumming to help open yourself to the tribal energy, and get in touch with your inner rhythm. Local kinksters from FMSD and Club X will be performing various feats of Fire Play throughout the night. It is our hope that we can all share in the ebb and flow of energy, while indulging our most spiritual needs.

Looking for more? Club X in conjunction with Edgewalkers is producing Ritual Steel: An Xtreme Tribal Experience a night filled with Tribal, spiritual energy. On Saturday, October 21st, join together in the WorldBeat Cultural Center in Balboa Park for a one-night event, three years in the making. Ritual piercing, hook pull, flesh suspension, and more. You don't want to miss this event from 6:00pm till midnight.

Earlier in the day, special guest Elwood Reid will host a presentation discussing the history and intent behind many global body-based rituals. This 2-hour educational discussion will be open to the public for $10, and is included in your ticket price for Ritual Steel. Presentation attendance is offered free with your ticket, but is not required in order to participate in the evening event.

Purchase your tickets now by following this link.
Read more about RITUAL STEEL at the Club X Events page.

III. New & Rebuilt Bridges

It is my distinct pleasure to announce that Fetish Men San Diego will be working hand-in-hand with several groups, businesses, and title holders in our community to build a strong foundation where new, experienced, and up-and-coming Leathermen, kinksters, and community members can grow together. Starting in September, FMSD will be hosting more events alongside California Drummerboy Erik Thomas, and the San Diego Eagle, scroll down for more information on those!

We have ALSO found a potential venue for 201+ classes and workshops. One of our own members has graciously offered his space for us to use, we will be announcing these classes on Fetlife, Facebook and on these newsletters after confirming that the space will work. Ticket Sales will be done on-line, and space will be limited. More information to come.

IV. Events

Beat Your Drum @ The Eagle - Friday, August 18th, 10pm - Close
Join us in supporting California Drummer and Drummerboy at The San Diego Eagle. The theme this month will be Rubber, Latex, and Neoprene -- but all gear is welcome!

Flogging Friday @ The Eagle - Friday, September 1st, 10pm - Close
Bring your favorite Flogger to the Eagle on 09/01 - whether that be a person or a toy, is your call. The crosses and posts will be set up for willing participants to experience flogging.

Fetish Men Member's Only Party - Saturday, September 2nd, 8pm - Midnight
Don't forget to purchase your tickets by contacting Doriam at -- Ticket sales end AUGUST 31st! Doriam will be at the Eagle EVERY SUNDAY leading up to the party for their Sunday BBQ from 4-7, and can meet up several days throughout the week!

Ritual Fire: A Tribal Bonfire Social - Sunday, September 10th, 6:30pm - 9:30pm
We are looking for Volunteers to help reserve space at the venue, and also looking for Fire
Play Performers for the night.

If you are interested, please reach out to: or

Fetish Men Friday @ The Eagle - Friday, September 15th, 9pm - Midnight
Join us for FMSDs newest event - Fetish Men Friday! The Eagle has allowed us to take over one night each month to introduce our Brothers to FMSD by showing the skills that we most enjoy! This month, Doriam will be leading the charge, demonstrating one of his favorite hard skills - Rope Bondage a.k.a. Shibari!

Other Events Coming Up:
08/17 (Thr) - Club X - Shibari 101 - Introductory Rope Class, Pleasures & Treasures, 7pm - 9pm
08/19 (Sat) - Club X - Open Party - Game On!
09/09 (Sat) - House of Black - Locker Room - BDSM & Swing Crossover Party
09/14 (Thr) - Club X - XMEN ACADEMY - Men's Health w/ MrSDL17
09/24 (Sun) - Folsom Street Fair (+ FMSD at Folsom, details to come)
09/?? (TBD) - Fetish Men 201+ Workshop (date to be confirmed)

V. From ME to YOU

I first wanted to say "Thank You" for those of you who reached out after the last newsletter went out! We are working diligently to build up Fetish Men San Diego, and are so happy to hear that what we're doing is being responded to well by YOU, our Brothers.

Now, I am humbly asking for your help; in order to get these events off the ground, I need assistance - whether that be in setup, or tear-down, teaching classes, leading discussions, whatever capacity you are willing to help, I would appreciate it! If you are interested in finding out how you can help your fellow Brothers succeed, email!

In Service,
Doriam Couto

Saturday, August 5, 2017

You've Got Male! - An intro and a plan

Table of Contents:

I. An Introduction
II. Events
III. Volunteerism
IV. From ME to YOU

Howdy Gents,

Papa Tony introduced me back in THIS blog post as stepping up as the new leadership for Fetish Men San Diego. Since then, many of you haven’t heard much from me due to life happening, but with the dust settled, I am hoping to take several steps forward! But first, allow me to re-introduce myself:

I. An Introduction

My name is Doriam Couto. I’m 24 years old, have lived in San Diego for 6 years, have been active in the Leather, BDSM, Kink, and Fetish community since 2015, and identify as a Homoflexible Male. I currently serve on the board/staff of three organization, including: President/Leadership for Fetish Men San Diego, Board of Directors for Club X San Diego, Host for Club X’s XMen, and Bartender/Pet Lab Instructor for House of Black. I regularly attend events for All Tied Up and SAN-PAH in addition to events hosted by Club X and House of Black.

Prior to stepping up to leadership in the community, I was the Event Manager for a bar in Hillcrest, which sparked my interest in running and planning events across the board, and have been running my own business for 3 years. In the 8 months since I was handed the keys to Fetish Men San Diego, we’ve hosted a few events, but not as many as I had anticipated when I first began. With new excitement, and a willingness to grow, I plan to change that over the next several weeks!

II. Events

FMSD Skills Workshop - TBA

We are working currently on finding a venue where we can host a 2-3 hour skills workshop for the members of FMSD. With the costs of rental space going up and up, and the premise of what it is that we do, it has been difficult to solidify a space! If you know of a space that can accommodate up to 12 people comfortably, please let us know by contacting Doriam at


August 10th - XMen Danger Room: Rough Body Play

In addition to working with FMSD, we’ve been working with Club X to create a Men’s Group where all men could feel comfortable: XMen! XMen hosts one event each month, alternating between Demo and Discussion -- this month, we will have @Fluffywumplekins teaching us all about the wonderful world of Rough Body Play on August 10th. Previous topics have included Sounding, Power Exchange, Electroplay, and Men’s Health. This event occurs on the Second Thursday of each month at Pleasures & Treasures from 7-9pm - as this is a Club X event, there is a $5 requested donation of non-Club X members.

mens party 11.jpg

September 2nd - FMSD Member’s Only Party

RSVP on Facebook or Fetlife
Many of you asked for it, and we’re delivering. On September 2nd, FMSD will host its first Member’s Only Party at House of Black in Mira Mesa. We are scheduled to have the venue for 4 hours from 8-Midnight for a BDSM focused play party amongst our Brothers. Ages 18+, Drugs & Alcohol are not allowed at this party, tobacco smoking & vaping are permitted on the patio. Interested in purchasing a ticket? Contact Doriam at or through Facebook! Ticket Sales end on August 31st!

This Sunday, 6 August 2017, Doriam will be at The San Diego Eagle’s BBQ from 4pm till 7pm to meet you and help you with ticket sales. See you there!

RItual Fire.jpg

September 10th - Ritual Fire: A Tribal Experience

Leading up to Ritual Steel in October, Fetish Men San Diego has partnered with Club X to produce Ritual Fire. Ritual Fire will be a night of tribal energy and camaraderie amongst our brothers and sisters in the community, where we will share stories and get to know the people who share our interests. We are looking for Volunteers to help reserve space at the venue! More information coming soon.

Fetish Men At Folsom

An informal event, but an event none-the-less! We’d like to join together with our brothers from across the globe at Folsom Street Fair on September 24th! Keep posted for more details!!

Hook Pull 2017.jpg

October 21 - Ritual Steel: An XTreme Tribal Experience

Gather in the World Beat Center on Saturday, October 21 for a one-night event, three years in the making. Live drumming, ritual piercing, hook pull, flesh suspension and much more. This may not be an FMSD Event, but let’s support our Brothers and Sisters in Club X and Edgewalkers, and enjoy this one-of-a-kind experience.

III. Volunteer Opportunity

You may have noticed that this is a lot coming up in the next few months, and we need YOUR help to do them! We are looking for volunteers to assist us in getting the word out that Fetish Men San Diego is Alive and Well and that we are looking to continue growing as a Brotherhood! If you are interested in lending your time, skills, or are curious as to what you might be able to bring to the table, contact Doriam at

IV. From ME to YOU
I wanted to end this post with something a little less formal. I wanted to thank each and every one of you for your patience leading up to this point; I understand that there have been points at which I have failed you, and I accept that there will be points where I will fail again, but it is my goal to minimize these failures. I hope that you will come with me, and with the rest of our Brothers, to create a community that honors brotherhood, camaraderie, and creates a space for Men to be Men.

In Service,
Doriam Couto

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

March With Us During The 2017 San Diego Pride Parade!

From Mr. San Diego Leather 2017 Nathan:

Hi there! It's almost Pride, and I'm looking for people to join the Leather Contingent in this year's parade on Saturday, July 15. We really need people to help carry the giant Leather Pride flag through the parade route - it stretches the entire width of the street, and we need about 80 people to carry it! The other San Diego titleholders and I would love for you could join us. If you could also help spread the word, please forward to others who could help. I know Pride is always hectic, so any assistance is greatly appreciated. Please let me know if you can help, and THANK YOU!

You can contact Nathan at MisterSDL2017 @

Notes from Papa Tony:

Nobody should feel that they are obligated to wear leather to help carry the flag - the titleholders are out front, so they are obligated to be all flashy and visible!  Just dressing comfortably is fine.

Year after year after year, San Diego always has the largest Leather Contingent of any Pride Parade that I am aware of, worldwide. It's a powerful tradition: