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Tuesday, June 27, 2017

March With Us During The 2017 San Diego Pride Parade!

From Mr. San Diego Leather 2017 Nathan:

Hi there! It's almost Pride, and I'm looking for people to join the Leather Contingent in this year's parade on Saturday, July 15. We really need people to help carry the giant Leather Pride flag through the parade route - it stretches the entire width of the street, and we need about 80 people to carry it! The other San Diego titleholders and I would love for you could join us. If you could also help spread the word, please forward to others who could help. I know Pride is always hectic, so any assistance is greatly appreciated. Please let me know if you can help, and THANK YOU!

You can contact Nathan at MisterSDL2017 @

Notes from Papa Tony:

Nobody should feel that they are obligated to wear leather to help carry the flag - the titleholders are out front, so they are obligated to be all flashy and visible!  Just dressing comfortably is fine.

Year after year after year, San Diego always has the largest Leather Contingent of any Pride Parade that I am aware of, worldwide. It's a powerful tradition:

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Dominant/Top Mentoring Classes for Gay Men, Starting Soon

UPDATE:  The classes are happening, and I have 

From Papa Tony:

I recently celebrated forty years in the Kink/Leather/Fetish community.  I do not pretend to know everything about every aspect of Kinkology, but I do have a lot of experience, and I am VERY successful at being a Sir.  I'd like to teach you how to be successful as well, if you are looking to learn.

I have been mentoring kinky, dominant men and women for many years. Periodically, I do a "semester" of classes, just for gay men.

What's the difference between attending these classes, and just looking for info on Google?

We aren't in need of more information… we are drowning in it.  What we need is someone who gives a damn about the student's success, who will give personalized coaching, and generously provides answers to very intimate questions without withholding, or harsh judgment.  As we said in the 1970's, even Daddies need Daddies.

What do I teach?

There are two categories of wisdom that every high-quality Sir gathers:

- Hard skills ("This is how you do this thing"), and
- Soft skills… Success-techniques, coping-mechanisms and gathered wisdom.

I teach both.

What style am I teaching?

I do NOT teach abusive, disapproval-based relationship tips.  Somebody else can do that, and elsewhere.  My style is long-term, affectionate, mutually supportive, relationship-based, and utterly hardcore when it's the right time.

What is the cost for attending?

There are two costs:

- I expect you to teach others as the years go by, when you feel ready to do so. That is how we did it in the old days, and it is a noble thing to do.  I do it, because it is my way of thanking my own mentors, who died decades ago.

- I expect you to SHOW UP.  I know how valuable this information is, and once you commit, I expect everybody to show up on time, every time, unless you are sick or dead!  :->

What is the payoff for the students?

In a word, POPULARITY.  You know how gay men are supposed to become less-attractive as we grow older?  A high-quality, confident Sir's value NEVER GOES DOWN, until he decides to retire.  In fact, once a man's confidence in his abilities rise, he has to get some extra coaching on how to deal with the stress of being chased after, everywhere that he goes.

How do you find out more about the class, the dates and the location in San Diego?

Email me at papatony - Introduce yourself, and tell me your interests.  Start the ball rolling.

If you don't live in San Diego, get on my list anyway - I will be audio-recording the classes.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

The Wonderful World of Impact, call for discussion topics, and monthly brunch. 5 March 2017

Mark your calendars for our monthly events on both the second Thursday and fourth Wednesday of the month, 7-9pm, at the
Joyce Beers Community Center
3900 Vermont St, San Diego, California 92103

Check out the FMSD perpetual calendar on the FMSD Calendar. After you visit and click on "Blog & Archives", click on Calendar just below the "FetishMenSanDiego Links:" text.

Please contact us at:
Email - FetishMenSanDiego [at] GMail
FetLife - FetishMen_SD
Facebook: @FetishMenSD

FMSD: Making an Impact
“Floggers and Paddles and Demos, Oh My!”

Thursday, March 09, 2017 · 7:00 PM – 8:50 PM 
Joyce Beers Community Center
3900 Vermont St, San Diego, California 92103

Ages: Ages 18+
Cost: $5 Suggested Donation
Dress code: Street Legal
Experience: 101-Level

Curious about the wonderful world of impact? Have you ever wanted to know what it feels like to be on the giving/receiving end of a paddle, flogger, or cane? Maybe you just want to learn more about grappling, proper spanking etiquette, or ball busting and gut punching?

Well we've got the event for you!

Join us on March 9th from 7:00-9:00pm at Joyce Beers Community Center for our demo on a few different forms of impact play. This workshop is being put on by @Fetishmen_SD (on and being organized by our Co-President @Rubble_Kcos (on

Note: this event is male- and male-identified only. We appreciate the enthusiasm and willingness of our Sisters to participate, and invite you to join our membership at a number of pansexual and all-gender events.

We need a few demo bottoms for next Thursdays class. We'd like 3 or so confirmed, and 2 alternates. All attendees will have the opportunity to learn, practice and/or experience the demos, but we need someone to get on up first.


Discussion Topics

This group is for you! We need discussion topics that you guys would like to hear. What do you want to talk about? The topic can be anything.

Voice your opinion! See the top of this blog post for how to contact us.


FMSD Brunch Social

Hey Folks! We'd like to start organizing a monthly FMSD Brunch Social this month, if anyone has suggestions for venues I'd be happy to hear them!

If you have a venue that you like, let us know! See the top of this blog post for how to contact us.

Friday, February 3, 2017

Why Knot? - FMSD Discussion

Doriam Manuel Couto invites you:

Thursday, February 9 at 7 PM - 10 PM

Joyce Beers Community Center
3900 Vermont St, San Diego, California 92103

An image from a past FMSD discussion.

Join us on February 9th at Joyce Beers Community Center from 7:00pm to 9:00pm as we reinvent our Discussion Group format.

This discussion feeds into our skills workshop later this month - G-ROPE (Gents in Rope)!

We'll be discussing the nuances involved with tying male bodies, techniques that are essential for safe play, and answering all of your questions about rope bondage before our workshop on the 22nd. Use this time to ask your questions, meet other men interested in this form of play, and share your experiences!

The discussion will be co-led by Doriam and Jerry, and a small panel of other riggers prominent in the Rope Community of San Diego.

Gents in Rope (G-ROPE)! An FMSD Workshop

Doriam Manuel Couto invited you:

Wednesday, February 22 at 7 PM - 9 PM

Joyce Beers Community Center
3900 Vermont St, San Diego, California 92103

Cost: $5 suggested donation

An image from a past FMSD rope workshop.

You've asked your questions, and I'm sure you have many more! Join us at Joyce Beers Community Center on February 22 from 7:00pm to 9:00pm for this month's Skill Workshop - G-Rope (Gents in Rope)!

This class will cover two ties and will reserve approximately 1.5 hours for practice time and Q&A.

If you have someone you intend to play with, great! If not, please show up with an attitude of Brotherhood, and a willingness to fumble alongside your fellow brothers. We were all new once, so let's support one another and enjoy learning to tie something more than our boots!

Never tied anything besides your laces? Never seen a piece of rope in your life? Never fear, please reference the Q&A below!

• What should I bring?

1. Yourself & Your ID
2. Rope-friendly clothing (Nothing too lose or too restrictive)
3. A friend (because it's always better that way!)
4. Rope
5. Safety Scissors/Seatbelt Cutter

• What if I am brand new?

We understand that most people will be new; if you are interested in tying please review this video, covering how to tie a Somerville Bowline. If you are interested in being tied, we still recommend you know how to tie and identify this safety knot.

• Where can I buy rope?

For starter rope, we recommend nylon and you can find bundles of Nylon Rope at Wal-Mart, Home Depot, etc. We will also have bundles of rope available for purchase at the event. For this event, we recommend 4 lengths of 25'-30'.

• Can I bring regular scissors?

Please don't. Surgical scissors and seatbelt cutters are ideal for this type of play in the case of an emergency. Rope is replacable, people are not.

• What if I don't have a partner to tie with?

We ask that all attendees come with the willingness to tie and be tied by someone they may not know for the sake of education. We will also try to have experienced Riggers and Rabbits available.

• Where does the donation go?

None of the proceeds go to our leadership or instructors. Instead, proceeds go right back in to future events, workshops, and classes.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Events For This Weekend: FMSD Planning Meeting

Monday, January 16th, 7-9PM, at Joyce Beers Community Center in Hillcrest, near Ralph's Supermarket:

Fetish Men San Diego is hosting our planning meeting to codify the schedule of events for the next quarter.

Fetish Men San Diego is primarily a group of male-identifying kinksters who are looking for brotherhood, a social space, and interaction. This will be your chance to meet our new leadership team and have your voice and interests be heard.

We welcome your attendance and support in our growth. Come join us in establishing the future of FMSD.

Events For This Weekend: HARNESS

Friday, January 13th, 10PM, at Numbers Bar:


Every month, we have a kink gay men's cruising party, designed to entertain, and to mix the generations together.  Expect to see some demos of kinky behaviors, by well-respected practitioners!

Here are some photos from previous HARNESS events, where the men of FMSD have always been made very welcome: